Saturday, September 30, 2006

AFL Grand Final

It's AFL Grand Final time here in Melbourne (as well as in the rest of Australia), and the excitement is very exciting! The customary crappy nontertainment has been had, and they've dragged out several former AFL stars and driven them around the oval. Then came the team songs!

First up, West Coast Eagles:
We're the Eagles,
the West Coast Eagles
Wow again!
And we're here to show you why
This line strikes an odd note of existential angst; normally, an eagle wouldn't be worrying about proving 'why' it was an eagle.
We're the big birds,
Technically speaking, there are bigger birds.
kings of the big game
This is a bit of a non sequitur; just because they are 'big birds' doesn't mean that they're suited to the 'big game'.
We're the Eagles, we're flying high
A bit of needless repetition here, but I think we get the message.

Then came the Swans' club song:
Cheer, Cheer the Red and the White
Honour the name by day and by night
That's a little much, don't you think?
Lift that noble banner high
Shake down the thunder from the sky
You might want to keep the banner down if there's a storm, it might attract lightning.
Whether the odds be great or small
Swans will go in and win over all
This is a bit of an exaggeration, but we'll see if they pull it off.
While her loyal sons are marching
Onwards to victory
Where's the rhyme? But I think we get the message.

Well, have a good game, people, and I hope your enjoyment is very enjoyable! And most of all, GOOD LUCK to both of the teams - I'm sure one of them is going to need it!

UPDATE! - I must say, I'm really loving all these Grand Final ads! Why, just half an hour ago they had an epic, five-minute ad for dog food! What's YOUR favourite Grand Final ad? Why?

ANOTHER UPDATE! - One presenter is tipping the Swans to win, another presenter is tipping the West Coast Eagles to win, and another is tipping a draw! I pick ... none of the above. Is there another option, Eddie?

UPDATE ON ANOTHER UPDATE! - And isn't it a top performance being put in by the grass at the oval? Excellent work, grass!

I'm going to get a drink!


(Please apply this update to whichever side is appropriate at the current time, whatever that is)

POLL UPDATE! - But enough about what I think. How do YOU rate the performance of the grass in this Grand Final?

How Do You Rate the Performance of the Grass?
Free polls from
YET ANOTHER UPDATE! - With the Eagles leading the Swans by 25 points at half-time, I'm tipping this game as a clear win for the Swans.

UPDATE OF IMPORTANCE! - We're now moving into the fourth third of the first half of the third quarter, which is a very important part of the game.

QUESTION! - Who's got the ball? I was just watching a video of cats acting in a Shakespeare play on YouTube.

ROUND UP! - And with the conclusion of the game, victory has gone to the winners, who achieved triumph by the decisive margin of one point (too be fair though, it was a BIG point!) But in football, there are no losers, only teams who win more decisively than the opposition. Or something.

Excellent performances all around, but I have to say that the best individual player of the game was The West Coast Eagles!

Whew! Wasn't that fun?


TimT said...

Who was your favourite team, folks? The West Coast Eagles, The Swans, or the opposition?

nailpolishblues said...

Oh the opposition, for sure.

Tim said...

I was listening to it at work and was really going for Draw, but unfortunately the Eagles and the Swans turned it into a two-sided game. It was a bit hard to tell how the grass was doing over the radio, but it's been in top form all season and I'd be surprised if it let anybody down today.

TimT said...

Well, it doesn't matter if you play or lose, it's how you win the game.

nailpolishblues said...

I thought it was that you win the game rather than how. Who remembers how when everyone's so drunk at the time?

TimT said...

Winners and grinners and losers are boozers, but they're all going to end up feeling [sic] in the morning, or something.

nailpolishblues said...

And you as well, young Tim?

TimT said...

Not tonight, I'm afraid. :(

On the plus side, for various reasons, in the next couple of weeks I will probably be in various states of ebriation, mostly on the alcoholic side ...

nailpolishblues said...

That sounds like fun, mostly.

ras said...

the grass was the winner on the day.

Have a friend who's a devout Swans supporter...think i will have to send your post....
it made me laugh, especially dissecting the team songs.

TimT said...

Nails, yeah - are you hitting the grog tonight? Fine time for it. Where are those absinthe bars in Sydney anyway? I'm going to have to hit them in a couple of weeks.

Ras - heh, yeah, send it through! The whole thing was kind of unplanned anyway.

Also, everyone vote in the poll! Repeatedly, if possible (it'll let you vote again every day; I don't have any of that fair ballot shit on this blog - this blog is an AUTOCRACY, not a democracy, dammit)! The results at the moment are kind of inconclusive (no, really!)

nailpolishblues said...

What is your obsession with absinthe? And why does it need a specific bar? Just hit the bottlo and be done with it :p

nailpolishblues said...

Oh and no, I'm not - I am tomorrow though - go Labour day! Yeah.

TimT said...

"Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder" - Wilde

It's a hallucinogen and alcohol rolled in one. You even have to set the fucker on flame when you like it, so it's sort of like a flaming Homer too! Trouble is, the fascists in power won't let industrial-strength European absinthe into the country because it might be "bad for our health". Fuckers!

TimT said...

set the fucker on flame when you like it

I meant 'set it on flame before you drink it'. Now I wish I HAD drunk something, I might have made more sense.

Just saw Men In Tights - awesome film! Full of lines like, 'He is headstrong and cocksure. Or did I get that the wrong way around?'

nailpolishblues said...

I'm not sure that the modern stuff is an hallucinogen. I've heard it tastes like shit too. Thought it was meant to be drunk cold, like icy?

Personally, I've distrusted green alcohol since that horrible Chartreuse night. Fuck me, what a hangover. Apparently not supposed to be drunk as a shot.

Can you not get absinthe in Melbourne?

TimT said...

Sure, but I'm just planning ahead. I'm pretty sure it's absinthe you have to set alight ... maybe it's another drink I'm thinking of.

TimT said...

BREAKING NEWS! - Jenna brings us a hilarious update on American football, somewhat in the same vein as this post.

Caz said...

See, your problem with the poll is that you have such a loaded question, and yet, strangely, the results are entirely ambiguous. You're going to have a wide margin of error when the tallying is done.

Pity, you could have turned this initial research into a thesis.

nailpolishblues said...

You know, I've rarely been disappointed by grass.

TimT said...

Oh, I don't know. I think I should do a loaded-question poll more often. You never can tell what the results will be like ... I mean, all the most progressive countries are right into it, come election time. Venezuala, for instance ... Cuba ...

Email: timhtrain - at -

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