Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Law for the Lawless

Guest post by Captain Blackheart

Buckle your swashes my scalliwag crew,
For I've TEN PIRATE COMMANDMENTS to impart unto you;
For though we be lawless, we must all do the same
To not blacken your Cap'n Blackheart's black name;
For though you may play at things most piratical,
Yes must learn these TEN PIRATE COMMANDMENTS - in language emphatic-al.


1. Rob from the rich, for they deserve it.

2. Rob from the poor even more than the rich, for as pirate-folk, we must be unfair to all.

3. The plank is your law! Obey the plank! Never question the plank!

4. All those who question the plank must WALK THE PLANK!

5. All those who question the walking of the plank by those who question the plank must WALK THE PLANK!

6. All those who question the walking of the plank by those who question the walking of the plank by those who question the plank must WALK THE PLANK!

7. All those who plank the questioning of walks by those who walk the planking of questions by ... errrgh, what was the question again? Ye scurvy dogs, ye get the idea!

8. DESTROY all who come in your way (but be nice about it).

9. Never forgo your duties to loot and plunder! I suggest starting your bloodthirsty rampage at a local school and working your way up (the kiddies will be only too happy to join in).

10. Be polite - for though ye be EVIL AND ROTTEN TO THE CORE, that doesn't mean you have to be nasty.

11. Arrrrgh! Being pirates, we are not bound by the law of numbers! All those who question the amount of piratical commandments here must WALK THE PLANK! (See 3, 4, and 5 above)

*There may be some of ye who have been learnin' in schools
May object to my stretching of grammatical rules;
Well, I say this to ye - the lawless DO NOT OBEY LAWS!
So be off with ye - afore I PLUNDER YOUR SHORES!


TimT said...

We apologise for this break in transmission. This blog will return to its irregularly scheduled nonsense shortly.

Tony.T said...

Speak like a pirate day? Grrrr! Surely it's time to make that idea walk the plank.

TimT said...

Could be right, could be right - I think the whole thing started as a publlicity campaign for the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie!

ras said...

pirate or ninja which is better?

TimT said...

Pirates or ninjas?

I'll pick option c) - Lutherans. Watch out, those Lutherans are BAD-ASS!

Gauchegirl said...

And don't forget the drinking for I'm sure it is part of a pirate's creed to get completely drunk and start singing sea shantys.

And given thoughts on drinking and your literary excellence, especially in matters of walking the plank, this reminds me of the following

Anti Money Laundering said...

So act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole world.

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