Saturday, September 02, 2006

Amazing Jowl Man

"I'm watching Parkinson on the telly tonight" - my Mum.

The lifestyle of the Greater National Celebrity (Nationalus Celebritus) goes something like this: man of the moment, man of the year, man of the decade, rock bottom, new claim to fame, national icon, archeological relic in the museum.
Michael Parkinson currently hovers between 'national icon' and 'archeological relic in the museum'. This guy's been around for so long that he was doing television shows in the 1960s. Man, he's so old, that even his wrinkles have wrinkles. Rumour from the British film and television industry is that the BBC has separate unions working on either of his ever-increasing jowls.

The Amazing Jowl Man himself.

He's a cunning old sod. His schtick is to act like he has absolutely no personality whatsoever, so as not to show up the various other celebrities that appear on his show - usually, it works. The one exception is the case of Meg Ryan - an interview which failed so dismally and so spectacularly that it indicates Ryan may, in fact, have negative personality*.
The show is apparently about the 'other people' - the Lesser Hollywood Celebrity (Hollywoodus Celebritus) and the occasional British Celebrity (Britishoidus Celebritus). Don't you believe it; Parkie was probably writing articles for Punch before these animals were born.

Parkinson and some twit.

Parkinson and some more twits.

Parkinson and the Budgie.

If what science-fiction tells us is true (and I'll be damned if it isn't), and we're due for another Dalek conquest of earth, then Parkie will be the first one to interview our new overlords:

PARKINSON: Good evening. On the show tonight, Some Hollywood Blonde, Stephen Fry, and a Dalek!

DALEK: You must all be exterminated! Exterminate! Exterminate! (Fires death ray into the audience, to sounds of screams, smells of burning flesh, etc, etc.)

STEPHEN FRY: Well, somebody got bad movie reviews, didn't they?

Michael Parkinson, I salute you!

*Added this sentence on Monday because ... um, because ... hey, look over there! A flying saucer! (Runs away)


ras said...

Go Parkie Go!

Oh how I love his jowls and Yorkshire accent

TimT said...

His show is frighteningly addictive.

Good thing I don't watch it ...

Mister B said...

I am glad to find a fellow Parkie devotee. I very rarely like any of his guests, yet I continue to watch. Why is this?

Also, Daleks should feature on more reality-based shows. Could give 'Survivor' a new lease life of life...

TimT said...

This latest series of Survivor features on the war-torn, radiation-scarred landscape of Skaro! And watch out for those trash-can shaped death machines ...

Anonymous said...

Parky is one of the worst interviewers on television. Totally boring.

Long live Jonathan Ross!

TimT said...

Well, I suppose it can't be difficult to outshine guests of the calibre of Madonna, etc - their crapulosity is positively astounding. But he's great when others are interviewing him - he did the talk show circuit here in Australia a few years back, and he really delivered - funny and insightful.

No idea who Jonathan Ross is. Andrew Denton here is pretty good - he once made Kevin Costner so angry that when the interview was over, Costner started laying kicks into people's cars.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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