Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Holey Cheeses!

DEAR Mum and Dad,

Praise the Holey Lard!

Yes, I have seen the light and joined the church of the LARD GOD and his only son, Cheeses!
He is the Lard of Ancient Israel and of Moulden Egypt; and he rules over all pasteurised and unpasteurised cultures, the world over!

And LO! he did plant a garden in the East, and he called it EDAM - Genesis, Ch. 2, V. 3

And Cheeses Crust did say to his disciples: "Suffer the little children to Camembert unto Brie." -
John, Ch. 11, V. 20-21.

And Stilton begat Gruyere, and Gruyere begat Ricotta, and Ricotta begat Bluevein, who WAS King of Babylon in the days of Brie the Conqueror. -
Kings, Ch. 12, V. 30

And Moses did say to the burning bush then, 'LARD! Who are you?' And the burning bush made reply: 'EDAM WHAT EDAM!' -
Deuteronomy, Ch. 7, V. 2.

The Lard is my cheddar: I shall not want -
Psalms, Ch. 9, V. 1.

In Cheeses name,
Forever and ever,



Rachy said...

Whatever to say?? As to how you come up with this kind of stuff is totally beyond me, it still cracks me up every time. Well done!

The Aunt said...

You really should stop eating Limburger late at night.

Jenny Wynter said...

I dunno, I thought it was kinda cheesy.

Oh stop, oh stop, oh I'm just far too funny for my own good. Someone pass the ventolin.

In all smeariousness, you're tagged. 6 weird things about yourself, though as I realise you're not really the personal-type-blogger, you can adopt a persona if you prefer. I look forward to reading your responses with suitable merriment, mirth and another word starting with 'm' that escapes me right now. Suggestions?

TimT said...

Can't ... talk ... must ... eat ... cheese ...mmmmmmffffFFFFF ... Limburger ....

Caz said...

comic mummy - he's confined to only SIX weird things about himself?

Hmm, that'll be tough.

Email: timhtrain - at -

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive