The morning WTFF market report

... meanwhile, in other market news, several evil corporations are today in negotiations with the owners of the prestigious Parkinson's Syndrome for rights to the disease. This follows a month of changing fortunes for the world-wide disease market, in which the philanthropical arm of McDonald's specifically devoted to evil also seemed to be finalising a deal between it and the well-known Tourette's label. A spokesman for McDonald's insists that 'our main focus will continue to be providing healthy food to families all over the world'. Also, the troubled Alzheimers family, who have maintained ownership of the Syndrome although its shares have dropped in the marketplace in the past decade, now say they are considering entering into negotiations with government to have the syndrome nationalised. A statement from the Alzheimer's corporation reads: 'We believe that our syndrome could be of great benefit to the Australian Government in an election or two, and we are certain, given their handling of the national health system, that they will be more than capable managers of our syndrome.' Turning to mining now...