Sunday, December 12, 2010

An ode to the beard

The beard, the beard
Is not to be feared
But rather it ought to be
Lauded, revered,
Applauded, and cheered,
And most rousing speeches
By reverend preachers*
Made to the face on which it's adhered.

'tis true some may find it appalling or weird**
But sensible people will soon be endeared
By a friend or a neighbour who has grown a beard,
And by common acclaim
Those of longstanding fame
With their face in full flower have often appeared -

No you cannot refute,
It's astute being hirsute*** -
You will win wide repute,
And be considered quite cute,

*Or widely-loved teachers
With respectable features.

**Sometimes, alas, it is true that a beard
May be sneered
At, mocked at and jeered
At, and oftentimes leered
At by people who ought to know better but don't.

***So make no apology
But BRAVO! Pogonology!
Don't be chairy or lairy
About being hairy, etc.


Fran Hill said...

That's a great selection of hairinesses.

Ampersand Duck said...

That right hand stone tablet has a line near the end that always makes me think it's reading


Great tribute to beardiness. Ta!

TimT said...

I'm going to petition Julia, maybe we can get this read as an educational poem to children across the nation and encourage a new generation of beardedness.

Blandwagon said...

A new generation of beardiness is already upon us. Those Gen Y hipster types loves them some beard, along with ironic hats, vintage T-shirts and bands that no one (including them) has ever heard of. The last thing we want to do is encourage them.

I often go beardo myself. But with great hairiness comes great responsibility, in terms of shaping, grooming and generally making sure the beard behaves itself.

TimT said...

Chesterton says 'one does not grow a beard in a moment of passion'. Wise man, that Chesterton.

Grooming. Ah, yes. Hmmm. Yes. I do that aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the time. Harrumph...

Anonymous said...

It's not quite a beard quote, but heading in the same generally hirsuite direction, Nick Cave was once quoted as saying that "a man without a moustache is rather like a woman with one": advice we'd all do well to heed.

TimT said...

Sound advice Notts, though I note that one of the pictures included above is indeed of a lady with a mostache... and beard. Ladybeard!

Anonymous said...

I've had my man forward said picture to Mr Cave for his expert opinion. Most odd indeed. Not a relative of yours, is she, Train?

TimT said...

It's actually the cover of a Melbourne publication which I haven't yet been able to buy/read - and which for whatever reason has attained a certain fame (or notoriety, if you like).

Anonymous said...

A most interesting article, indeed. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts should you ever get your hands on a copy of the zine.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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