An extremely humble post

Speaking of At Home with Julia, I didn't watch that either. (I don't watch TV, remember?) But I did happen to read a blog post linking to another blog post linking to a news article written by a person who had watched at least a tiny portion of the show, a bit where apparently Julia and Tim had done naughty things underneath the Australian flag. This was apparently a very shocking thing.

Well I don't know what all the fuss is about. I'm sure all Prime Ministers and Attorney-Generals and Premiers and Chiefs of the Defence Force do the same thing. When I am Australian of the year, I might... well, when I am Australian of the year I might do lots of things...

O when I am Australian of the year
I'll rub my trophy bright for hours and hours,
Grow sprays of bottlebrush and wattle-flowers
In jars made out of cans of Fosters Beer.

O when I am Australian of the year
I'll hang a golden sausage on the wall,
And diamante lambchops in the hall,
And polished Chiko Rolls - there - there - and here.

O when I am Australian of the year
Then Liberal and Labor will strike a truce,
And everyone will call their babies Bruce
And Aussies over all the world will cheer.

For when I am Australian of the year
I'll laminate my lamingtons all day
And serve them on a lacquered redgum tray
Until my point is absolutely clear -

And when I am Australian of the year
I'll have the corpse of Bradman waxed - and buffed -
And with the best of Aussie opals stuffed
And every morning, shed a humble tear -

And when night gathers in, and sleep draws near,
In velvet billows of red, white, and blue,
I'll dream of potoroos. That's what I'll do
O, when I am Australian of the year,
O when I am Australian of the year.