In Flagrante Depicto

Darlene tells it like it is:

Just because journalists sit around all day yakking about whether Tony Abbott is sleeping with Julia Gillard, doesn't mean the rest of us share their "two old ladies chatting over the fence" view of the world.

OH. MY. GOD.

Tony Abbott and Julia Gillard are sleeping with one another? How come nobody told us?! Clearly there must be an investigation. This is FRONT PAGE NEWS. There must be interviews and hard-hitting analysis and an examination of the socio-economic significance of this event. I DEMAND AN INQUIRY! This must go all the way to the top. Nobody is guilt-free here! The world is a changed place, and the failures of the Howard Government have to be exposed for all to see. SOMEONE MUST BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. And I know who that someone is. It's George Bush! You bastard, YOU KILLED THEM ALL!

Ladies and gentlemen, clearly, it's all about oil. Oil, and right-wing aliens. I blame the military-industrial complex.

Thankyou.