Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Letters from the Hedge

"Dear Mum and Dad,
Well, here I am in Mell Bourne, and it's a lovely city. Here is a photograph of one of the great natural sights which I found in St Kilda*. The locals call it a 'brick'. Slowly, I am learning the language of these shy but intelligent people. Maybe one of these days, they will accept me as one of their own... "

Well, my parents are back in Australia, after their whirlwind tour of the more obscure corners of the world. I've received several postcards from them, including - most bizarrely - one from Dad with a picture of two elephants making elephanty-sex, with Slovenian slogans written above them. I've no idea what the fuck he was trying to tell me there.
For a while there, they seemed to be having the time of their lives - not to mention their life insurance, which I think they sold to finance this trip.

Anyway, after receiving all these postcards from them, I think it would be remiss of me not to return the favour. I'm going to get myself a camera, and take pictures of some of the most ordinary, unexciting sites around Melbourne, and send them in to my parents like postcards. Some ideas so far:

Here is a picture of a local store, called 'Wool Worths'. I don't know why, but somehow it seems rather familiar ...

I had a nice trip yesterday. I slipped on a banana peel and fell onto the pavement. Here is a picture of the banana peel, which I kept as a memento. Isn't it beautiful?

If you can suggest any Melbourne vomitoriums or trash-heaps that I can take a picture of, leave a note in comments.

*Okay, I didn't really find it in St Kilda, I found it on the net. I was just using a common literary technique, known as 'lying'. And you didn't even know, you fools! Bwahahahaha!


Rachy said...

that's last night's curry

TimT said...

Last night's curry would be an EXCELLENT idea for a picture, though this was, in fact, a brick I got from google image search. I had to shrink it down a bit when I posted the image, and the dimensions of the picture changed a bit.

I must say, I'm not impressed with this brick. If I could have got a better brick from google image search, I would have. For some reason, the quality of bricks on their server is SADLY LACKING.

Misha said...

LOL, best idea ever. Mind if I borrow it? There's just so much you could do with an idea like that.

Tony said...

I didn't wonder if you were lying, I wondered whether you could get in trouble if you really did show your drug stuff on the interwebs.

Anonymous said...

Go right ahead! The idea probably wasn't mine to begin with ... it just appeared in my head one day, out of the blue, and I liked it.

Anonymous said...


People, I was just showing a simple picture of a brick on the internet. I like bricks. I like their elegance and I like their simplicity, and there you go bringing drugs into it. Humph!

Anonymous said...

I find the best place for image searches is, maybe you can find yourself a pretty little brick there!

Email: timhtrain - at -

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