What's The Going Price on Sackcloth and Ashes?

So anyway, thinking of becoming a hermit, heading into the desert as one of the biblical nomads and raving out prophecies of the kingdom to come beneath the moon. But first I've got to find out some things:

1. What's the going price on sackcloth and ashes, and what the heck are they, anyway?

2. Wild honey and locusts: am I supposed to keep them in the fridge, or just somewhere cool, like the pantry?

3. Anybody know where I can find a nice cave fronting the desert, with sandy views and possibly a little pool of sand out the back? What's the mortgage on one of these things, anyway?

4. Is there any 'Hermit's Union' or 'Friendly Society of Nutters' that I can sign up to? Got to know my rights as a hermit, after all.

I've already tried smearing myself in red dust and wandering up and down Flinders Street, muttering 'Alms for the poor, alms for the poor'. But I already have arms, so that seemed a bit oxymoronical.
Oh, and I've been trying some costumes on. What do you think about this one?


Pillars maketh the hermit.

You've gotta look snappy to be an ascetic nowadays. Gotta move with the times, that's what I say.