Something strange has been happening. For weeks now on social media, people have been going on and on and ON about how terrible Australia Day is and it's not something they'd ever celebrate. Okay... I suppose it's not that strange. But didn't people used to keep their whinging about Australia Day to, you know, Australia Day? It's becoming like a public festival, I tell you - a festival of all round denunciation. A month long festival of being against a thing. Here's how I think things will happen at some point in the not-too-distant future...
SCENE: Wazza arrives at his local Invasion Day party and is greeted at the door by Dazza.
DAZZA: Welcome to our Invasion Day party, Waz!
WAZZA: Thanks Daz, I mean, I had to come, didn't I - just change the bloody date, mate!
(Someone laughs, Dazza claps Wazza on the back and ushers him in)
DAZZA: Can I offer you a beer mate? (Gives Wazza a beer)
WAZZA: (Cracks can of beer and gives it a big chug) Thanks Daz. I needed that.
(Someone cheers) (Several people clap)
WAZZA: But remember... it's not a date to celebrate!
(Someone blows a kazoo and his friends laugh)
(Dazza suddenly looks solemn)
DAZZA: I think it's time...
(Gazza sits down at the piano and starts banging out an old, familiar tune - and to the melody of 'We wish you a merry Christmas' everybody in the room sings)
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