Pink frilly brolly thrills

I have a pink frilly brolly that everyone keeps noticing. It's incredibly good at being noticed, my pink frilly brolly. You might say that, apart from keeping the rain off me, that's its special talent in the whole wide world. "One coffee please," I say. "Nice umbrella," they say. "I'm going to lunch," I say. "Nice umbrella," they say. "Hello," I say. "Nice umbrella," they say. "Robomatic chocolate birdseed," I say. "What are you talking about?" they say.

Well, aside from the odd occasion, that is, people really do keep noticing the pink frilly brolly that I have. And why shouldn't I have a pink frilly brolly with me? After all, it was very wet today. Also, pink frilly brollies are so manly.

I propose that the next time they invent a football team, they make them pink and frilly. With white spots. Just like my umbrella, only better at kicking balls.

After all, everyone would notice them. And pink frilly football players are so manly.