Tuesday, April 19, 2011

The return of Angry Barky Dog

Speaking as a hick from the sticks proud proprietor in the goodly suburb of Lalor, they really like their dogs out here. Usually sitting just on the other side of the gate of someone else's property. Often waiting at that gate for the moment when the Baron and I an unsuspecting innocent citizen of Lalor walks by, in which they will snarl and let loose with an extraordinary melisma of barks. And generally adding to the serenity and tranquility of outer suburb life by howling, yipping, yelping, and whatevering for any or no reason whatsoever.

Yes, from a dog's perspective it must be a pretty good life out here:
- A pleasant day mostly spent hanging out with one's humans
- Lots of fun sitting behind the gate, waiting for the Baron and Tim unsuspecting strangers to walk up
- Feeling righteous anger and fierce rage as the barks well up in you
- Shouting out HEYWHATAREYADOINGHEREGETOUTAHERE as the strangers walk by
- Watching them jump right out of their skin as you shout at them
- Sending them off with a fresh round of barks
- Waiting for the whole cycle to occur again

I have to say I'm quite enjoying it, too. Sometimes when I discover a dog-house I walk past it several times just to encourage these impressive displays of canine rage. One such house is opposite to the shops, on the way to the station, and so I had been making a point of walking right past it every morning. Having been scared out of my skin several times by this particular creature, I had got to the point where I had been looking over the fence in order to mentally prepare myself for the moment when I would be scared out of my skin by the efforts of the barking dog. Once, in fact, the humans were standing around, but the dog was nowhere to be seen, so I found myself looking over into the front yard owned by people I did not know, and looking right into their eyes as I did so. Yes. Well.

Anyway, Angry Barky Dog at this property seemed to disappear for a while. I got so disappointed by this disappearance that I eventually gave up walking down that street, and turned off to the station before I got to the shops.

However, on Friday for some reason I didn't, and was blithely walking along that street when a bloodcurdling series of savage barks and a fierce scrabbling of paws against a metal gate made me jump right out of my skin with terror and horror and heart palpitations and happiness. ANGRY BARKY DOG HAD RETURNED!

So, I guess the moral of this story is
a) Always look into someone else's front yard for their dog.
b) Never look into someone else's front yard if they are standing in it themselves, which you will be able to find out just by looking into their front yard.
c) Get a dog so you can scare the living daylights out of all the other grannies and grandpas toddling down the street.
d) Woof!
I think I'll go with option d).


Tony said...

Sounds like blogging. Dogging.

M L Jassy said...

Your dogged attempts to attain the train station without being forced out of your skin due to sudden terror onset is quite amusingly relayed. I am all a'chuckle!

TimT said...

This blog aims to cover the good, the bad, and the doggily, so thank you both.

Email: timhtrain - at -

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