Thursday, December 18, 2008

The difference between 'think' and 'tell'

SCENARIO: I am sitting at Coburg train station next to a middle-aged businesswoman reading a book. I am eating a fruit mince pie, with a takeaway cappucino by my side.

TIM: (Thinking) Gosh, I like fruit mince pies. They're really tasty.

Tim lifts the cappucino to his lips, and squeezes the cup a little too much, causing froth to spill out and run down his trouser legs.

TIM: (Speaking aloud) Nothing like a bit of lactate down the leg.

The businesswoman beside Tim laughs uncomfortably.

TIM: (Reminiscing, aloud) Takes me back to my school days.

Following this incident, I reflected to myself that this was an excellent illustration of the difference between 'think' and 'tell', and particularly instructive about those occasions when one confuses what should be 'thought' with what should be 'told'.


Anonymous said...

You possibly need a "wit control" switch, so you can adjust your settings between occasions when slightly lascivious wit is appropriate and occasions when polite, anodyne wit is safest, although such an invention could lead to some dangerous malfunctions.

I probably would have smiled nervously and then carefully ensured that I did not get in the same carriage.

TimT said...

Or a 'twit control' switch.

Anonymous said...

No, not at all!

Anonymous said...

'twit control' switch?

That'd make you too powerful, TimT, most of the world's population'd be under your control.

Too scary.

Stick to the wit control switch.

TimT said...

I think you're right.

I can't control my inner twit at all. Like an undead zombie-demon he keeps on lurching out of my brain and attacking at the most inopportune moments.

Anonymous said...

I think it's an unfortunate feature of my own that just when I'd like to unleash wit, my inner twit comes out and makes itself known. Naturally when I most would like to be witty I end up being most twitty. It's probably some sort of curse. They are probably twins - Wit and Twit, or light and dark doppelgangers or something.

The Topiary Cow said...

Perhaps the amount of twit surfacing is directly related to the attractiveness of the opposite sex present?

cute = too much twit
not cute = inner wit

In this case, you're doomed. Moo!

The Topiary Cow said...

Or you could just blame it on the mince pie.


Anonymous said...

And if they are really horrible looking TimT I'm sure many people can release their inner *&$! (rhymes with wit)

TimT said...

I specialise in twit lit, as you know.

Shelley said...

Most people can't control their inner twit. And judging by the clinical notes I've read today quite a lot of people can't control their shit either.

[I blame this comment on word verification being 'microw'. My mind is stuck in a awkward place between microwave and microbiology. The consequences of which, were they to meet, would be several kinds of icky.]

Maria said...

Well, it seems many specialise in shit lit so I don't know if that's better or worse than your choice, TimT.

I was in Berkelouw's just the other day and I found (but didn't purchase, so can't review or even give a snapshot of) a hardcover copy of "The Not So Little Book of Dung"

Anonymous said...

I'm with forlorn, and I'm usually the businesswoman (kinda sorta, well, an IT drone who works in Corporate Land and has to look presentable) reading a book (Rogue Economics at the moment: badly written but interesting), and roooooling eyes occasionally at the kind of things people sitting nearby come out with!

And.. Maria, why didn't you buy the Little Book of Dung? You'll be regretting it for the rest of your life!

w/v = gesessi: How lovely!
So lovely, in fact that I forgot to enter it therefore w/v is now fradv. Not so good.

rely said...

koupit ridicsky prukaz brno
koupit ridicsky prukaz
koupit legalni ridicsky prukaz
rijbewijs kopen
comprare patente

Email: timhtrain - at -

eXTReMe Tracker

Blog Archive